Good night New Hampshire.

So I have to laugh when i think back to my interview with Tom for Via. I said the thing i would most hate is speaking in front of people and here i am a year and a half later, giving announcements at youth conferences and churches. HA! God sure has a sense of humor. And it gets easier as I go. I absolutely love it too... i get my expenses paid to go meet a bunch of people, and hang out for a few weekends when all I have to do is give a little announcement. Its been fun. But definitely stretching, in the best way. You fall down to pick yourself up, you get humiliated to stay human. You realize that its all Him so it takes a the pressure off (ok not all but a load)

And He knows me. I get to meet new people at conferences, I get to be involved in bringing Via and involved in Youth, I get to go to Palestine for free. Its exciting and new and fun. I was so afraid of getting stuck and bored in Maryland, and here He is probably chuckling as I realize I'm not stuck and won't be. I am finding the beauty in the mistakes, discovering new friends, feeling alive! ITs a bit busy now but in a good sense. I get to network my MOST favorite thing to do! I get to meet weird and interesting people (my favorite!) Praise God. He is tooo good to me! I feel like a love struck girl in the first few months of a new love, "HE LOVES ME!" she smiles and sighs.

February 12th is a coming fast...

here's to one more month:

They're gonna clean up your looks
With all the lies in the books
To make a citizen out of you
Because they sleep with a gun
And keep an eye on you son
So they can watch all the things you do

Because the drugs never work
They're gonna give you a smirk
Cause they got methods of keeping you clean
They gonna rip up your heads
Your aspirations to shreds
Another cog in the murder machine

They said all
Teenagers scare the living shit outta me
They could care less as long as someone'll bleed
So darken your clothes
Or strike a violent pose
Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me
-my chemical romance

oh i should've been and english teacher

So I was just thinking of rhetoric the other day and how important it is. I suppose history teaches this, and fools disagree with it. Any of us who have taken a history class, especially those of the diversity sort (African American, Womens, ect.) know that a change in "rhetoric" towards a people group or ideal, usually ushers in change or is ushered in by change. In any case it is linked to change. For examples, just think of any phrase which is "politically correct" and think of how it is somehow linked to a political or societial change. (although as a disclaimer, i hate that now adays things have to be so politically correct they seem sterile, or lose character.)

But with this in mind I was thinking of how important rhetoric must be in terms of the Churh. And I was probably a little sad after speaking with my highschool sunday school class about church, realizing that most of them think its just a sunday morning duty they have to complete before checking it off there list. I was wishing that there were more people around me that thought "wow, its sunday, i get to go to church," rather than, "it's sunday, i have to go to church." Don't get me wrong I do know some people that feel that way, but they (myself included) usually use the latter phrase. So i'm proposing that if you feel like that you should use the former phrase, "I get to go to church." I don't know maybe i'm just crazy or wrong but i feel like with this change in rhetoric, it may at least get others thinking and bring back some excitement to sharing in corporate worship and fellowship on sundays.

Also, reading Shane Claiborne's "Irresistable Revolution." Its amazing!

1,2, 3, 4, tell me that you love me more!

dude i have put my two maps (one of the US one of the world) on my wall and they are awesome! Also found a $5.00 little red dress that in my size at marshalls. I love it! its very little french girl and it fits like a dream! And in just two days i will be in new york with the turrigiano's... could this week get any better!

oh and my traveller i.q. has just reached a new level! i made it to level 10... ranked number 3 within my friends! oh yeah.... i'm so pathetic!

brain vomit

so i've just come to the realization that other people who write blogs, really put time into them. They spend time writing as if they were writing a paper of some sort. they edit, they think and it sounds amazing and put together. while i on the other hand do think about my blogs but i write them as they come pouring out of my brain onto the keyboard. no thinking of how it fits or if its grammatically correct. while i think both very important in paper writing. my blogs are in rawest form, my brain vomit so to speak.
yet i'm glad i've come to this conclusion because i was beginning to think everyone thinks so succinctly, and i on the other hand am just utterly a mess in my brain. feeling a little absent-minded professor-ish. But i like my blog as my brain vomit space as well as i like reading others well-thought out blogs, i'm just happy to know i'm not as crazy as i think.
not terribly interesting, but there it is my brain vomit.

"Casey I just feel like i'm broken"-M.

In light of recent events and seeing old friends, can i just say that life screws people up. And it happens pretty fast. Even in the most unusual place and most unexpected people. We are all just broken people. And I just look at my friends and people I've grown up knowing and see how broken they are becoming. It is breaking my heart. My soul is aching as I see them become crippled by life and its turns. And its tough. I know the answer, for Jesus came to heal the broken. And yet some of these broken people are followers of Jesus who are just continuing to be the ones causing and becoming broken. Some aren't and thats almost easier. Because you can show them a different way. We are called to help our brothers and sisters carry their burden, but what if they aren't wanting to find the answer. Getting well is hard. You have to be strong or surrounded by support... you have to dig into your pain and for some they've experienced so much its too hard.
Even yesterday in Old Navy trying on a Christmas sweater, I came upon a woman looking to see if she would fit/look good in this red velvet dress. I thought it was stunning but she didn't like it. She didn't like herself. She told me her husband had just died in a car accident. After 25 years of marriage and she didn't feel very colorful anymore. I told her I thought she looked amazing in red. But she continued trying on, liking nothing. Almost as if she could buy a little happiness or joy. But we had a good chat and I invited her to our church the next day. But it is just so sad to see such pain.
I guess I just feel like my eyes are being opened more and more to this brokenness I see around me. Its tough, I feel as if my spirit is restless and upset... squirming within my body. And maybe its due to a few hearings of very troubling news which included old friends.
And I know this is a very depressing and cynical blog.... but I'm not meaning it to be, for we have hope. And its radically inclusive. Jesus is the answer, anyone can have relationship with him. I guess its just sad when you see so many people who are broken.

Casey and the big apple

i love new york city. i love new york city. i love new york city. i love new york city. i love new york city. i love new york city. i love new york city.

ANd i love city boys!

why oh why am i in suburbia?