Thursday, February 4, 2010

Print a full bleed of this yellow soul

I don't know what to write, but thats when you need to write. At least thats what they say. It has been an exhausting few months... Full of incredible joy, i'm engaged to the most wonderful man in the world. I can't believe he exists. And of course there has been deep sorrow like I haven't know in years... and its all mixed together the good and the bad, as is usually so in life. What an incredible dichotomy this thing we call life is; so beautiful and yet sad, it creates such depth to the world i think.

Unbelievable things are happening with the wedding. It is overwhelming to see the community of people that i often take for granted pitching in and supporting us in this next step that dan and i are taking. seriously i'm so excited for this awesome party and new journey in life. Its times like this you see that you do have an incredible community and i more than most feel blessed to be in what i think is like one of those old time communities that everyone is talking about and longing for. Dan and I have received so much. How good is our God that he gives us such provision and such wonderful people who I know would carry us if we needed.

On this semester, well I'm not sure how I will make it through. But i'm sure I will. I'm so overwhelmed with everything I am doing. School is fantastically hard. Though it stresses me out I absolutely love the higher bar to jump. The professors are pushing me to be a better artist, but it takes time, hard-work, and tears... but thats usually when the breakthrough comes. (I'm going to try to create a chandelier out of soda cans for my installation project) I'm working a new job as a part time nanny with a fabulous family. I can't believe I get to work with them... its eery how they are perfect for me. (and i now have a free photographer, who is eager to take engagement and wedding photos!) But its getting me up way earlier than last semester which is making me perpetually tired at the moment.

God is bringing stuff up in my LTG and bringing healing, its hard and scary but good and I feel so safe with Audra and Rebecca. My little Baltimore family is growing and back... where would i be without them.... I love that aspect of my life. I am doing via, which in itself is a learning experience. I am finding my footing in how to lead a group of students who are my friends. Its great but exhausting the time it takes and just the sheer amount of driving and distance I feel from Baltimore and the rest of my life when I am with via. It all seems overwhelming at the moment but i have a fabulous fiance who wants to help me carry the burden and rub my shoulders through it all. And I keep hearing from God to rest and continue to rest and I will get things done in his divine rhythm .... which is good. So either I am in denial or a really good place about everything that is needing to be done. Perhaps its both.

I am currently loving the Avett Brothers. Music has always been so therapeutic for me and such a source of inspiration, joy, and release of pain. So its good that I'm loving a band again. Hmmm so this dichotomy of life is intriguing me right now... maybe there will be some avett influenced artwork in with that theme.

I guess I had lots to write.