the cold war on the sofa is getting closer.

So in just my second day of being a 19- year-old single mom of six children, we run into conflict. Its the everyday sibling conflict thing. Someone being mad at the other... neither one believing they are in the wrong. Not willing to apologize until the other sibling does, they feel vindicated in their anger. Its the stuff that makes up the days of moms everywhere, not unusual. But as it happens moms happen to be the mediators, the peacemakers, the diplomats. So I stepped up to bat.

I found to be a looking glass into the human complex. As I sat with each person in individual "counseling" sessions and began to tell to put themselves into the shoes of the other person, they seemed unwilling to even consider this possibility. They were so sure they were in the right, unwilling to look at the other through another lens than "evil-doing, corrupt, meanie sibling." And as unwilling as they were to look at life through the others eyes they were even more so to show that person grace, apologize, admit they were wrong, or forgive.

Which then lead me to my next point with each child, you can't change anyone but yourself. If you hate the situation, you have to change, or as Ghandi put it, " YOU must be the change you wish to see in the world." And of course neither of them could see how they could possibly change or would even need too.... haha. How human, we do this so often don't we. We can't see outside ourselves.

I found this to be a very profound look into humanity. At the essence of all of us, we are lawyers, able and willing to defend ourselves to the jury. We rarely try to see the other side, the compromise. Rarely do we take the path of the proverbial "bigger man" and admitting we were wrong first, apologizing first, giving grace to the other at the risk of being disrespected, or not having the other see how just maybe we were right.
Hmmm children are very telling .

Thankful Notes:
-the teenagers song by my chemical romance (it speaks to the shock-value rebel in me!)
-good hair days
-my fab boss
-play dough
-taking the trash to the street at night, when you can have quiet moment, or chat with the neighbor
-the glow of street lights at night
- the lump nooma video... it makes me cry every time and i'm not crier
-on that note the unconditional love and grace of jesus christ. that he loves me just as muchon my worst day as on my best!
-God's beautiful creation, those cute boys decked out in autumnal wear of sweaters and scarves!
- finding hidden treasure spots like the donut shack which is open 24hrs or killer trash in baltimore.
- emily and andrea who i feel to be soul sisters who are fun and deep ( a simple but hard combo to find)
-warm towels out of the dyer
- the AmAzinG and unique gifts god has given us
-my eyes both to see out of and to look at (i think they are quite nice!)
- my health and my body again to use and to look at!
-diversity
-people who are willing to dig with me, challenge me, journey with me.
-via

"But greed is a bottomless pitAnd our freedom’s a joke We’re just taking a
pissAnd the whole world must watch the sad comic displayIf you’re still free
start running away.Cause we’re coming for you!"

-"Landlocked Blues", Bright Eyes

More to be thankful for:
-weddings
-visionary arts musuem
- make-up
- conversations with Becca
- chai tea
-seeing katie
-the support system the girls at work provide for eachother and the children. it really is a family
- being able to somehow show children at work the love of Jesus and provide stability and love in their life.

Beauty

so i was just listening to that old worship song "Creation Calls" which i totally love. i remember my friend Amanda saying she didn't like, she says its a song for artists. Which ok maybe makes sense that i like it.

But really I love seasons... the change. The beauty of the everyday. The sun makes me smile. The crisp air. color. dark nights. light nights. The leaves changing. snow. the rebirth of spring. the depth of autumn. the fling of summer. Maggie tells me i'm hysterical, i eat seasonally, i listen to music seasonally, i dress seasonally. and each one excites me. I love it!

I just think that song captures it so well, "How can we say there is no God when all around creation calls..." I feel that way.

AND as it is the season of Thanksgiving i am going to start listing things that i am thankful for on my blog. Even the little things. So heres just a start:

-family!
-phone calls or e-mails from far off friends.
-grace
-colors! (and my love for their different shades, tints, and hues)
-leeann a friend who equally loves the small things as much as i do such as a perfect cup of hot apple cider
-the amazing experiences and adventures God has put in my life
-God's making us creatures of creativity whether it is lived out through loving to dress up, make music, study math or bake! We are all creative!
-that God made us creatures that are able to dance ( theres nothing better than dancing around the kitchen with a good friend and some fun music)
-provision
-saturdays
-my favorite mug
-people who make me laugh
-candle light on the ceiling
-nature especially the stars
- did i mention dancing
-good hugs(and willie for showing me the difference counts)