This Bleeding World

I've had another interesting experience today. I went to my 11:30 Bio lecture and as it turned out only four other students showed up. It being an absolutely gorgeous sunny warm autumn day my professor suggested we take our small study session outside. And since it was just women, of course we got to talking about life, men, marriage, weight, death, spirituality, pyschics, child birth. It was really quite amazing how open we all were with eachother, especially my professsor, who told us weepily about the death of her brother and her failing 23 year marriage.

This led to another one of the girls telling us about how she was recently left waiting at the altar for her fiance. She finished with how she wished she had seen a pyshic before her wedding, because then she would've known and could've been prepared. And it reminded me of a mother recently talking of her grown son, "I'm worried if he goes into ministry because he might get hurt." Ah. Here we are; hurt.
How we wish we could protect and prevent it, but we can't. And while, it is AWFUL, it is part of life. We have all experienced it, we have all had to deal with hurt. Life is full of it. Yes, hurt it sucks and its universal. I've found though it is through pain that we grow. I've learned much more from pain and hard things, than from pleasant. I feel more compassion because of the hurt. I say this only of course, because I can give my hurt to Jesus, he reaches out and touches and feels it with me and takes it. Because really though I've learned through my pain, the only reason I'm not crippled by it is because I don't have to bear it alone. And of course I still have loads I'm sure I need to work on.
And it made me sad and glad. Glad that I have a Savior who isn't afraid of my messy ugly hurt. Glad that I can look back now on past hurt and have grown and pushed through it. And yet sad because the world is full of so much hurt. People who don't deal with it, who want to hide from life or love, people walking around practically crippled with pain from hurt. And with this in my mind I must do as Donald Miller says we need, " to hold our hands against the wounds of this broken world, to stop the bleeding."

Mr. Crabby

As I was walking to my car yesterday evening I stumbled upon the most surprising of things... a live blue crab in the grass. I am in a total quandry as to how it got there as I do not live on the water... save maybe he got out of someone's crab pot.

I left the crab in my sink til I got back from my lab.(after quite a fight... he was a fierce) And I was going to steam him, but when I came back I could see that he was slowing down and dying. And I couldn't do it... at twelve o'clock after a bit of a struggle to get him into a bucket without getting pinched, I took him to the severn river and released him.

I feel at peace about my decision though, except that my conspiracy theory brain is somehow linking the presence of the crab in my yard to the destruction of the enviroment.

the grass is green!

Wow summer is flying by so fast. And with it brings a whole phase of unexpected gifts: a boyfriend and a new car! Its crazy to look back to last year and think that I was about to celebrate Becki's birthday in London, finishing up Via, planning to go to Royal Holloway, and enjoying my time with the Turrigianos. Ha Ha. How God had different plans for me, and now I look back and think it was hard to make the decisions I did at the time, but I'm glad that I did. I couldn't see the forest through the trees yet. Isn't that how it always is... and its not just the having a boyfriend and a car... its everything that has fallen into my life these last several months and its been different than I expected, but wonderful. Life's an adventure... its the only way I want it. I'm just so blessed that God knows that about me!

Ponderings of me

So I've been really thinking about a few things lately. Trying to figure out what is really the best possible way to live... Is it better to work only part time for the rest of my life to develop relationships and really work on being in community and being alive and working in the community?
I think it is always better to be generous... this has been such an amazing blessing when others have been to me it has made me really think that i want to be as generous as my means allow. Maybe i will have to live more simply. ANd in light that i will now acquire my second free car ( a mind blowing blessing from God!!!!) I don't think i could ever trade in or sell an old car... i feel that i should always find someone in need and give it away(if/when i buy a car)

And i'm kind of annoyed with Christians that have seemed to have lost the ability to relate to people... like they don't know how to be friends!!! please God, never let me lose sight of people as people and lose my ability to just be a good friend.

In other news my sunflower has started to bloom!!! And Katie Maggie and I have found everyone's inner HArry Potter character.... I'm Tonks... yes its true i'm in love with a werewolf.

three right in a row!

WOw God is good... so much to be thankful for today! A free car possibly(my second one... God really has my back!!!!), a free bike (thanks to Bryan!) A lovely long walk to Gary's Grill. Rita's gelati with Ashleigh. Sunshine! Julie being an awesome friend. My dad being absolutely ridiculous with boys my age, and then smiling at me the whole night telling me it was just because he was just thinking about me thats all. haha.

A magical evening.

I just had the most magical experience tonight. As I was sitting outside Caribou Coffee with Dan I notice this dumpster. I love dumpster diving so I run over to it, but realize its not a good dumpster just full of coffee and cardboard. Dan mentions that there are tons of dumpsters behind the shopping center so i say lets go... we found tons of awesome cigar boxes which we will use in some form of art. We left a huge sign outside the gamestop dumpster which we drew with sharpies the recycle sign and the mother theresa quote "there are no great things only small things done with great love"(because they did not recycle all those cardboard boxes)

So we ended up sneaking into the Atlanta Bread company dumpster where we found our jackpot! A whole trash bag full of loaves of untouched bread in many assortments!!! Such a waste but such a beautiful thing to find. So we took it to my house where we made coffee, toast and eggs in a nest,(with our new found treasure) to celebrate. Now i have a billion loaves of bread downstairs to decide who to give them to tomorrow... Wow this was an exciting night.

La La Lovely Day

Today was a lovely memorial day! I slept til 1130 which i felt my body really needed and awoke to a gorgeous sunny day. Spent a few hours out weeding and planting in the garden. Then went out to paint in my backyard. Had a barbeque with the family this evening started reading again. It was lovely!

And bryan says he may have found a bike for me!!! Its a fixer upper but I'm soo excited, yay for bike riding... ahh its been soo long. And tomorrow Julie and i will begin our running ... eek i'm a little apprehensive, but excited to run with her! Keeping doing new things... its suppose to keep you young right... although i think i'm a bit ahead of the game as i'm only twenty...haha. so essentially i'll be fifteen soon. oh no, i think my plan is backfiring!

Still loving being light blonde. Decidely have an addiction to boys in bands with dark hair, white tees, suit vests, and fitted jeans (how are there so many?) And still saddened by friends who seem not qutie ready to give up their addictions...:(